Is it really the end...?

It is the end of August! Thus, the end of Blagust. So what now?

I am intending to continue ramblings on here outside of this wonderful event but for now I will quickly recap on how this month has been for me.

It has been a strangely stressful and rewarding month for me, milestones include: My last Student nurse placement, continuing my art work and enjoying it, learning more about speed running and developing video games and my mother retiring.

I haven't been posting here as much as I would have liked but I was usually either doing these wonderful things or resting to make sure I was well enough to continue. I am one week away from completing my placement and 9 weeks away from completing my degree. Eeep! I find out next month if I get a graduate year and if I do I assure you I will be writing a lot about it. I have learnt so much during my placement in the Cath Lab and it is certainly an area I would love to work in one day. I realize though that it is a specialized area that I won't be able to get into without going through a bit more training first. As the nurses have told me though, if I am dedicated enough and work towards it that is the best chance I will have of getting it. I am going to have difficulties in my first year as an RN as I haven't been placed on a ward. You would think this could be my fault for asking for placement options that are specialized but in all honesty I didn't get much a choice until my final placement. Aside from the University never giving me a ward placement I am sure that should I get a graduate year I will be placed on one. Not exactly the place I want to work or the place I see myself working forever but it is necessary experience.

My Art has been taking off again this month and while at the moment I haven't been drawing too much I have found myself drawing quicker and more accurately so that is always a good thing. I have mainly been doing sketches here and there and when I have inked them at least I shall scan them to show to the world :D I look forward to having a bit more time to sit and draw after placement is finished.

Games are fun and this month I have been not only doing silly speed running antics, as I have blogged about but I have also been attempting to learn a little programming. Still early days and any in depth conversation with programmers at the moment is only half understood by me but the ball has started rolling so lets see where it takes me. It would be really interesting to see if I can do some more pixel art and try and make a simple game. That's the goal in mind at the moment at least. Mix the art and stuffs ya know?

Family is doing well at the moment. My mother has just retired from her job and is now going to finally have some more of the "me time" that she deserves. This is going to cause issues for me as lifestyle changes will be enforced by my mother and while I understand her reasons I hated being given a bed time and a wake up time only seems worse. We shall see how that goes, I am sure I will find some balance in it all.

I really enjoyed reading my friends blogs and seeing what they were doing while I was too busy to attend things like EVAC because of placement. It was reassuring in a way as I was able to see how things were still happening around me and it didn't make me worry as much. I will have more time soon though so MOAR GAMES. MOAR EVAC. MOAR MAH JONG!!

Watch this space for more wonderful tales~

Havra

Why Lara doesn't like me - Starting the run, breaking the game

A few months ago I was watching my good friend practicing his speedrun for LaMulana when I said to myself: "Yeah, I wanna speedrun a game".

Lord knows why, half of the time I was watching it was him swearing or saying how shit bats were. It was decided though, so I had to decide a game to start with. My friend suggested a short game that I was familiar with. I wanted a childhood game of mine, one that I would take pleasure in breaking.

The first game that stuck to mind was Tomb Raider. While this is not a short game it is easily segmented and that was probably more what I was after. Tomb Raider was a series that I got into as a child that helped me realize how great boobs are. More so though, it was a game that even as a child I could break.

It also helped that there is a ton of information about how to speedrun Tomb Raider games here: http://www.tombrunner.net/. Do check it out.

So here we are, Tomb Raider III. While Tomb Raider II had more childhood trauma for me I found that TRIII was a little easier to break in ways.

The old man that follows you around everywhere in this one farts. Constantly.

I took some screenshots of my efforts today as I practiced a few things. There were 2 things I used to do a lot when I was younger and I am going to show you here. 

My First Glitch

It isn't complex, it isn't that wonderful, but when I was a child it was the most amazing thing I could ever do. I found a way to get to the top of Lara's mansion. This technique is used throughout early Tomb Raider speedruns. 

Note, how easy it is to put Lara into objects. 

As Lara jumps up and down she drifts slightly. Using this, you can place her in walls. 

And when the game doesn't know where she is. 

She gets spawned on top of whatever you stuck her in. In this case, she is now on top of her house. 

Look. Lara. Everything the draw distance touches, is our kingdom...

This led to more fun with me finding the strange textures and the magic floating platform. 

Looks like there's nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!

Old Man Antics

What probably made me like TRIII more than TRII was the old man antics and the addition of a quad bike. The old man antics was something I was sure to do every time I played this tutorial level. 

You get access to guns at the end of the assault course. 

Not sure what Lara is shooting but she sure is keen

In this the poor old man becomes a target. Just so you remember how much of a bitch Lara is.

Of course, you shoot him. 

He only groans a little when he gets up. It's not like he may have arthritis...

It's okay though. It's all for queen and country!! 

Now here is the cruel bit that I couldn't stop laughing at. This is for if the farts get too much.

In the kitchen there is... the Freezer. 

Get yourself all ready....

Hello gorgeous!

Kbye

Aaaaaaaaand you shut the door. 

Thus, preventing him from following you. You do still however, hear his farts from the rooms surrounding. 

Now, back to the going fast. Over the months I looked up a few ways that people went through the levels, practiced the techniques and finally today was the day I gave it a go. 

The First Level

The current best time for the first level is 38 seconds. You will find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgcioHGIBXU

This is the route I decided to go for. 

Different techniques and a slightly different route have had a lot of runners complete the first level in just over 1 minute. 

First attempt at me doing this, did not end well. 

No matter! I will just have to jump a little differently. 

Finally I got to the first area where I could do something silly. You jump through the edge of the wall and can get yourself on top of it. 

I got stuck. While there is "quicksand" I wasn't sinking but in this case, I had wedged myself in something and couldn't get out. 

It doesn't even look like I am stuck...

No matter!

Close but not quite on that. 

Again not quite. It was a good try Lara.

Aha! Success! Now to jump over to the other side. 

Easy so far. Now here comes the bit that I spent hours... to try and get. Grabbing into the block so that when you pull yourself up, you hit the trigger for the level exit. 

If you can see it, Lara's shadow is in the block.

And this is what happened: 

Yaay out of bounds! 

Lets try again. 

Hooray! I did it! But...

Something didn't seem right and the start of the next level.... Is this Ninja Croft?

No Matter! I will load again. 

Okay then... I didn't wanna see Lara's face anyway. Load again...

Okay I didn't want to see the level either. Bah. 

As it turns out, one way of hitting the level exit means you skip the cut scene after it. Useful? No. Every time this happens you will load a level or a save that is either missing the art for Lara, or the art for the level. 

Restarting and having another go, I completed it. 

Yaaaay! Go me with breaking the game. Does this make me a speedrunner? 

Laughter? The best Medicine?

We've all heard it, the whole "laughter is the best medicine" thing.

Wrong.

Laughter hurts.

I hurt myself today because I was laughing too hard. 30 minutes of constant giggles. At what? you may be asking. I remembered that this existed:

Summing up your first sexual experience in GIFs:

Thank you Reddit.

Okay so some degree I do believe in the laughter thing. It certainly makes the day go by quicker and the patients a little more cheery but do not forget. There is always a time and a place. I know you want to make a pun that I, as a student nurse giving IV medications for the first time was going to give it my best shot (Kill me).
One of the first rules I have learnt: You can state that you are a student but never tell a patient it is your first time doing something. It ruins the faith and makes your job a lot harder. If you screw up then sure, tell them then and run away fast.

Laughing is an important thing to do though. Makes your forget about things that might not be going well for you or just the world in general. I certainly had fun looking through these images after a hard days work even if I injured myself doing so.

Uploading these I found some strange pictures in my images folder that I should really be careful of

I am not even sorry. 

Learning and learning lots

Yesterdays attempt at a blog post had me listing all the things I had learnt from placement. Good news is that I have learnt so much that I spent 2-3 hours and I still wasn't done explaining. Bad news is that it still isn't finished and after amazing cake tonight I am a little too brain dead for the task.  So again, ranting.

... okay I am not sure what I am meant to be ranting about. Maybe if I start it will just come to me. Hmmm.

Placement is good. Over the weeks I have been in to assist (where I can) with Tilt Table Tests, Angiograms, Pacemaker placements, Biventricular Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator placements and Loop recorder implants. I have only just begun to work in the operating part of the day surgery so I am still learning a lot of what goes on in there. I know what to explain to the patients and what the rationale behind the intervention is but as far as the details, I didn't follow the flow of conversation. I somehow seem to be talking to the right people though. I started a conversation with a radiographer today asking about his role and how you interpretate the results given, for him to print out a worksheet he gives to his students that detailed all the major arteries around the heart. He then talked me through what was happening during each step of the operation. I have then been mistaken a few times by doctors and radiographers as being a medical student for asking these questions. Rarely in this area have I come across a person who said: "You don't need to know that in that much detail" and leave the conversation there.

Oh that struck a nerve, prepare for the rant.

This is an issue I have had throughout my education, people not explaining because I don't "need" to know. In all likely hood I will forget most of what I have learnt here on placement if I never end up working in a heart specialty area. That is fine. It doesn't mean I shouldn't know or shouldn't be told these details. In my mind it helps to solidify the important bits because without the overall rules the details and exceptions don't fit. It is also now a part of my job. I don't want to give something to a patient or treat a patient the way I was told to by the doctor without having at least some idea of what the reasons are behind it.

This "you don't need to learn that" issue happened with my older brother in primary school where the teacher refused to tell the little 6-year-old how to spell a really long word because it wasn't a part of what he was set to learn at that age. The school agreed as well and wouldn't do anything about it. What did my parents do? Pulled him out of that school and found a new one.

The issues that I had, were teachers in high school not understanding how I connected information. I have a pace, and often I find you don't need to go over information again if you meet that pace. Going too fast isn't an issue with me unless I have no prior knowledge of the subject area. What is worse for me, is people being too slow.

So in high school, I had a lot of teachers willing to explain or teach me things inside or outside of class. However, they felt that because I needed to ask again or request for them to sit down and run it through with me, that they had to be slooooooooooooooow and take me through each baby step and have me repeat it before I could get to the next bit. I also found this annoying because running through things from the beginning helps me to remember the broader details before I get to the smaller ones. Often when I sat with a teacher, I would have to slowly go through things I already remembered for an hour before I got to the things I wanted to learn from them, only then for the lesson to be over. Useful.

Maybe though, this is something I have gotten better at through nursing. People only try to say things once. If you don't catch what the doctor is saying has he runs away it is a hassle to find out what they said and becomes a waste of time. Forcing yourself to quickly understand information and commands to allow for the next spurt is natural for the type of work I have found myself in. It also makes the hours pass by quicker, so you have to pay attention. It is hard at first when you have spent 8+ weeks playing video games until 4am only to start working again and find that your brain is not as sharp as you thought it was.

I find it also infuriating when people wont accept that they don't know. Don't send me the wrong way, don't look so unsure because if you don't know you don't know

Having someone say that they don't know isn't a reflection on how bad they are, no one is expected to know all the details and if someone is good at their job they will know where their span of knowledge is and work to increase it. What I have done for people I have taught stuff to is look it up with them. see if it makes sense to me and hopefully this will help me to remember as well.

This happens in my video game life too as a younger person often finding myself talking to a slightly older crowds at conventions. "Oh yeah, that was the best game, remember?" No... I don't. I didn't play that game. I didn't grow up in the loving arms of Nintendo. The first 'new' game I got for myself and myself only was Final Fantasy X, in 2005. You can't fake that you played that game or know all about it when you simply didn't. You can't magically add loved childhood games to your list when you didn't play them. An old friend of mine used to do that and it drove me up the wall. Younger than I, kept on going on about the Atari generation and how great that was. Come on man, you can't bullshit like that, you weren't even a part of that generation nor did you own an Atari console until you were 17. Lord.

I guess the take away message from this is that learning isn't easy but it makes life easier in ways. Through weeks of focusing on knowing as much as I can from this area in such a short time I have found the general nursing practices a lot easier. Mixing medications becomes easier because you know where it is going and why we want it to be there. Talking to worried patients becomes easier because you know what their care is. I will be sad to leave this learning experience but happy to be able to sleep and play more video games.

Drawing is a thing

I felt now is about the time to start arting it up in this blog. 

I have loved drawing for a while now however, it wasn't until fairly recently that I have drawn things that I am happy to show to people. In part this may be due to this support from the people around me but it is also just in the overall quality artwork I have been creating. 

It started in about Year 5 of primary school when those wonderful Scholastic magazines were given to the children during library time. One week, there was a small selection of 'How to Draw' books. I took this to my mother with a request for the 'How to Draw Animals' book but also said that I would like the 'How to Draw Manga' book that was on display next to it. My mother, the great parent that she is, would only buy me one. She also reminded me that I quite liked those anime shows shown on Cheez TV in the mornings. Her guidance (or persuasion whatever word you think fits better) left me with a whole lot of free time and a simplistic explanations in this how to draw book.

Simple way to start is a good way to start

This book became something I both hated and loved. It assumed a lot of basic art knowledge that I simply never learnt and trying to replicate these drawings never turned out the way I planned. Not matter what I did though, I kept coming back to drawing manga. It also never warned me how expensive art equipment really is. Stupid book. 

I gave up for a little while until I found The Internet where I started to go on my first fourm. On this Final Fantasy fan base fourm people were telling me about how I should try and make some fan art for it. 

The weapon she has equipped is a Wizard Rod! 

Teaches Curaga, Protect and Shell. 31 Attack

So the fan art was, as you would expect, the quality of a child. I somehow had the courage the let my tutor in year 8 put this up in the classroom. It was there for a full year........... for everyone to see....... oh gawd. 

I was also told about the anime that was getting big right now, Naruto, and how I should try and create some fan art for that. Thank god I can't find any of those pictures. Sakura never had arms, only shoulder stumps.

It was at this point that I started to draw less in place of doing 'research' as in, watching as much anime as I could. I would also often find myself on the way home from school heading into the then, very small, Shin Tokyo store in the station arcade with my small change buying $5 anime badges. I am very lucky that there is only one photo where I am wearing my Naruto, Garra, Kakashi and Sasuke badges on my school blazer. You can barely see them too HA! 

I digress. I later got a Deviant art account because my best friend did. During sleepovers we would draw small comics about funny in-jokes or video game things with the intent of putting up on there. Only one ever made it up:

This is also the point that I must confess I had been calling myself loza-chan on the internet. I am so sorry. Forgive me.... *cries*

  

After this plan of comics on the internet wasn't getting anywhere, I dropped it again. It was only in my final year of high school that I took it up again to try and help me learn the Kanji characters I needed to. 

楽しい　'Tanoshii' 

It means fun/pleasant

I then followed the usually pattern of dropping it for a while before I started to get involved with something greater... something sinister... something called: AvCon. It was only then that I started to meet amazing artists who taught me of importance that self-development and practice has on their art. I started to follow the same vein, feeling miles behind on their progress. I however had a great moment in AvCon 2013. I made my first $2 as an artist by selling a coloured version of this:

I was actually quite proud of this sketch when I did it. 

Did you hear that though? I MADE $2!! Someone actually liked my art so much that they were willing to pay for it? HOLY SHIT. After I recovered from the hard work that the AvCon weekend provided, my friend met me to give me my hard earnt $2. I bought 4 VICTORY LOLLYPOPS with it. 

This then let me try out doing a drawings from people whose art, being and fashion sense I adored, to more red mages and typical Japanese delinquents. 

Look her up too: 

https://www.facebook.com/tsunamiheeja.artist

So I started a Facebook page after that. https://www.facebook.com/havrac. Please do have a lookise~

I guess the reason why I am spending all this time blogging about my art is that I tried something new today. I created chibi Sailor Moon faces. 

Not usually something I do but when I showed it to amazing artist and friend Ale (http://ale.chenonetta.com/), she thought they looked cute. People like them! They really like them! :D All those frustrated tears has actually left me with a drawing experience both rewarding and fun. 

I am sure more of the art things will filter onto this blog but until then you can share with me, a snapshot of how my art has developed over these 10 years. Hopefully, you will see a lot more of them in the future